Studies Found “Poop in Water” at one of “Ohio’s Dirtiest Beaches”: Maumee Bay State Park. Pray for Benny.

Source– Maumee Bay is among the dirtiest beaches in Ohio. Out of 56 samples in as many days of the 2018 year, 43 showed levels of contamination that deemed the beach unsafe for the public.

I told Benny to wear a condom, but did he listen? Hell no. Even coming from me, the pullout king for three years running. Not to brag of course. When I looked out upon the slime into the horizon I could literally see poop in the water. It was like watching whac-a-mole from eye level. Little turds turtle heading in and out of the surface. It was astonishing. Benny insisted. I felt a deep sense of remorse on that silent ride home from the beach that day. The tension was so unspeakable that you could faintly smell it. It smelt like shit, and it was seeping from Ben’s epidermis like the cathode gas discharge light radiating off Micheal Scott’s St. Pauli Girl Neon Beer Sign. When I finally mustered up the courage to look him in his inevitably pink eyes I was deeply saddened. It looked like the eyes of a man who knew their was something wrong. Like the scientist at Chernobyl seconds after looking directly into the reactor core. How far have we come? Have we gone too far? Do I expect too much of Ben? Have I pushed him over the edge? It’s time to change! I refuse to be one of those obsessive stage moms exploiting their children into something that is clearly damaging for my own personal gain!

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