Horse Kicked this Guy’s Dick Clean Off his Body.

Source– The speedo-clad man ignored warnings signs not to pet the animals on Assateague Island, off the coast of Maryland, USA, and payed a very painful price.

GAAAASSP. Just a guy who thought his vacation was going quite swimmingly, until this horse decided to kick it up a notch. This sexy and you know it beach goer decided to ignore every sign that just happen to read “Do not pet the horses”. He must have felt invincible, and how could he not? With his matching mashed potato bod and skin tone on center stage, ego elevated from anxious rule abiding onlookers fueling his “I don’t give a fuck” mentality. Coupled with his supportive inner monologue: “I spent hours online researching and updating Trivago search filters, and I’ll be damned if I’m not going to pet this God Damn Horse! I’m on vacation damnit!”

Research shows that 15% of middle aged people go through a midlife crises. However those numbers are magnified by wearing speedos in public. So it’s safe to say this guy has felt the pressure of inadequacy, and is clearly lashing out. Has that pressure lead to erectile dysfunction? I’m no urologist but one could draw that conclusion. One could also conclude that this guys dick is basically corned beef hash.

P.S. This made me think of one of the all time greatest hidden gems of the internet: Enjoy

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s