Miley Cyrus with the Fruit Foreplay.

If you haven’t seen the teaser for Miley’s new…. honestly I don’t know what it’s for, Hell I don’t care, all I know is I’m going to Kroger after work.

If that doesn’t ripen your sexual desire for Mother Nature’s delicatessens then you’re either blind or your reproductive organs are failing, either way seek medical attention. The last time I heard of fruit and the enlarging of male genitalia, was my great uncle painfully describing his prostate problem. Watermelons to be exact. This succulent clip really got me thinking, well I mean you know what I was thinking but after the initial thought… and then the quick five minute release, there was a moment of clarity where I could truly empathize with others who were not exactly turned on by this. People who prefer other avenues of sexual arousal. That’s right. People who like Dicks. So consider me a lowly public servant, just doing whatever I can to help. Without further ado, things that look like dicks: (Please Enjoy Responsibly)

What’s that on the crest of the helmet? Wrap it my guy…
Girthquake Meter: 6.9
Poor guy
This might actually be a grilled and seasoned Dick.
All smiles from this young lady. Did someone say Gummy?
Flavor Town, Chance Of Precipitation: 100%

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