So I talked about this on Episode 16. You need to listen to that shit on Saturday because Bubby joined the crew and it gets weird. This girl Maddie is a college student at North Carolina. She was scared shitless because she was hearing strange noises, had missing clothing and saw strange footprints in her off campus apartment. Her immediate explanation for this was obviously ghosts, and I’m right there with her. Only difference between me and Maddie is that I would have tried to befriend the ghost, so that I could have a second ghost homie, only one more to go…. Anyway, here’s Maddie with literally like, a quote or whatever “I’ve been having, like, pieces of clothes missing. Like shirts and pants,” Hey Maddie, if you need to hit up Forever 21 and want some company, I’ll totally come with. They have men’s clothing now, and I’m not gonna lie, shit is hot. “I just hear rattling in my closet. It sounded like a raccoon in my closet,” Maddie said. “I’m like ‘Who’s there?’ And somebody answers me. He’s like, ‘Oh, my name is Drew.’ I open the door and he’s in there, wearing all of my clothes. My socks. My shoes. And he has a book bag full of my clothes.” The mans name is Andrew Swofford and he has an incredible head of hair. Look at that lettuce!
Can’t blame the man for trying to save some money on lodging to use towards a Hair Transplant Procedure. I’m a strong advocate of this operation, I fully understand and believe this is in the cards for me one day, and I 10/10 would recommend to anyone that is running out of Romaine at the Salad bar. This took place after Maddie alerted the authorities. “He tries on my hat. He goes in the bathroom and looks in the mirror and then is like ‘You’re really pretty, can I give you a hug?’” she recalled. “But he never touched me.” I feel so bad for Maddie, she seems like such a sweetheart. I applaud the composure she kept while this psycho was turning her closet into his own personal Dillard’s Semi Annual Sale. All I know is, there’s no way I could stay another night in this apartment, turns out Maddie feels the same “Last night I did not feel safe. I slept with my roommate in her bed,” she said. “I can’t stay here. My closet, it stinks. Every time I go in [my room] there’s a bad vibe. I’m just ready to leave.” Dear god make Maddie a bird, so she can fly far, far far away from that bullshit! Until then, check your closets folks! Good luck sleeping tonight. -Ry